How to Navigate Running a Fitness Business With Your Significant Other

Posted on December 2, 2022

Paden
Welcome to the Gymnazo Podcast. I’m the host of today’s episode Paden Hughes. And in today’s episode, we finally get to talk about working with your significant other. It’s actually the number one thing Michael and I get asked about when we’re in groups of entrepreneurs, or when we’re talking with other trainers is, we kind of get this look like, Oh, you guys are married? How is that? And there’s this tone of insinuation that it’s just an uphill battle. And so we wanted to take a minute and kind of go into a full episode dedicated to any trainer out there fitness professional, or enthusiast that’s looking to start a business and go, what what would what could you expect if you decide to bring a significant other into your business? And, or if you’re in business together, what tips and tools have helped us navigate it in a way that I think we both feel pretty proud of, while also sharing with you some of the moments we aren’t so proud of, because it wouldn’t be an interesting podcast if we just showed up and only told you the good moments because there have been plenty of moments where we should have not said that thing. Or we really pissed each other off. And sidenote, this is now the second time we’re recording this episode. Because the first time around, we did trigger ourselves all over. So we’re gonna bring in some honesty in the conversation. But for any trainer out there that has been one feeling overwhelmed wanting to bring a significant into your business. This episode is for you.

Michael Hughes
Welcome to the Gymnazo podcast where you get to peek behind the curtains of what it takes to create and run a seven figure fitness facility that ranks in the top 5% of boutique fitness studios for revenue. But to be honest, that’s the least important thing about us. Founded by me, Michael Hughes, Gymnazo has created an ecosystem of services that blend performance with restoration techniques, and attracts top coaches to its facility hosted by its owners, Paden, and myself and our top coaches, this podcast shares our best practices on everything, from how to build a sustainable fitness business, to how to program for maximum results to how to build a hybrid training module that’s online. And in person. We have marketing secrets, movement, innovation, and breaking down trends in the industry. If you’re a fitness professional, or fitness business owner, this is where you learn how to sharpen your skills and to see maximum results.

Paden
So Michael, yes, Paden, I want to kick off this episode, by you kind of bringing our listeners and our YouTube audience into where were you in the business and like as a trainer, creating a business when you first started thinking, Hmm, I think I need my significant other girlfriend paid in at the time to start helping me. So bring us into like, Where were you in that? How many hats? Were you wearing? It kind of just paint that picture for us?

Michael Hughes
Yes, really good question. Because the dating relationship the United started, basically, in fact, actually starts with this exact comment. So 2010 Yeah, exactly. It’s September. So. So we met September 25 2010. I know, I love that you remember that date. So I started thinking about this thing called Facebook and Facebook marketing. And this was when social media started to kind of kick up a little bit. So let’s just call it early 2010 was like, I need to be doing something more

Paden
about your services and good.

Michael Hughes
Word of mouth is working very well. But what else? What else? Right? How can you spread the word faster, right? Word of mouth is slow, but it’s great. But how do you go faster, get a bigger reach. And so I’d say probably think about it think about for the greater part of the year. And the hats I was wearing was pretty much every hat besides being an only trainer. So at that point, we had at least one or the coach at you know, to be honest, I think we had at that point for coaches.

Paden
No, we had just Trevor

Michael Hughes
the third internship, the second internship with Shannon Stefan and Amanda

Paden
that came the summer before I got married. A woman I got to be there for that part.

Michael Hughes
I’m glad there’s two of us on this broadcast, because my memory is not as sharp.

Paden
You know, you remember the date where we met so pretty much you can forget anything else

Michael Hughes
to pass. I’ll take that. So had one of the coach had already trained him up. But other than that I was running ever to the thing. Trevor helped out with programming, but I was programmer. I was marketer. I was business person. I was I mean this was at that point was kind of interesting because I was running a business outside inside of a club. So it wasn’t full business to be full disclosure. I didn’t lock the doors. I didn’t pay the bills. Right. The club did that for me. And at that point, it was like getting like even like policies and like it waivers, all those things going. I had to do that too,

Paden
because you were kind of a rogue. Were like you were supposed to be an employee, but you were fully operating as an entrepreneur.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, it really was. And it was really interesting that the hardest part because of the just a quick insight of the taxation, I got tax as an employee, but I had expenses like a business owner. Yeah. For those people who are in that mix is like a double negative. Yes. And yeah, for short, story long, long story short, I ended up becoming independent contractor with the business. So running the program, yeah, it was pretty much doing everything the the finances, because I did manage my own thing. I’d do my own spending, my my budgeting, my own training, and then the marketing. That’s where I’m like, What do I do? And I knew from the beginning, like, that’s not my that’s not my spot.

Paden
I think that’s super relatable to most trainers, we know. Yeah. But then marketing seems to be a big question mark

Michael Hughes
like even with my own personal marketing, like my IG account, like I post once in a while, like, I enjoy it, but it’s like, it takes me like 30 minutes to make a post. Like you like you’d like did it as like you were literally making banana bread. I’m like, You did that all this morning as I you know, Anyways, long story short. So that’s when you came into play. I was looking for somebody, but I wasn’t looking. I didn’t like Go on, like ads and like go to monster.com. Back then. I just I just had my feelers open. So when I met you, and you said that you really liked marketing. I just saw like, oh, I should talk to her about that. So that’s, that’s where it was.

Paden
Okay. So talk to me about what was it like to kind of bring me in on a project because I think originally it was just a pain and I need help with marketing. And I think at the time, I have a super formal like put together proposal for you

Michael Hughes
very formal, very posh,

Paden
very trying to impress you on a whole host of levels, but one of which was taking me super seriously because I love marketing. And I presented a proposal to you. And so we had a formality to the way we worked together from the beginning from the beginning, which is really important for everybody tuning in to this because we’ve always had Gymnazo as a business as a part of our relationship at every stage of our relationship. Yes. And that’s not everybody’s story. No, and we can’t speak to a different side of the story. We can only speak to ours.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. Because it’s interesting, because like our first date was a business meeting. Yeah, in fact, our first three dates were business meetings, right? I calm basis as

Paden
you call them dates. Now back then you were like, No, I haven’t asked you out officially. And that was like a whole side note. So

Michael Hughes
that’s the story. That’s what podcasts are the Michael Hughes and Paden Hughes relationship podcast. Okay. So, so like, I was very upfront, like, here are my top five strengths. Here’s, here’s who I am, like, no, no games, it was like the opposite of a game is like, literally, here’s my resume. Get to know me. Right?

Paden
Sorry, from like, a personality assessment, like hands me like his his whole profile. And I’m like, ooh, dude, this guy is like giving me the full cheat sheet on how to engage with him.

Michael Hughes
But that’s because there’s a business relationship. Yeah. And that was, it’s kind of interesting. So I’m biding tangents right now. But to go through that phase, I really relied upon you as the professional. I have a strength in Gymnazo. And I give trust for those who earn it. And I let go. Yeah, I’ve been able to do that very well. And I think that’s the reason why we’re able to have so many to grow as a business because I can’t do it by myself. Yeah, it’s an interesting revelation that I had to get there to do that. So I really trusted you like, what should we do paid in here is my desire, do it. And obviously, I want to, you know, branding, and so I got to be dialed dialed in. But other than that, I kind of let you just pick and I kind of forgot what you picked. Well, except for

Paden
and we’re gonna get into this a little bit more, but I’ll just tune in to this for the moment is you trusted me with everything except for message. Yes, yeah. The the level of detail. Yeah, yeah, we had a full tug of war multiple times. Like nobody knows what that means. You can’t mark it jargon, which is true in marketing world, like the number one thing not to do is intimidate people with language that they don’t understand. Because all they walk away from us feeling stupid. And when someone feels stupid, they don’t hand you a credit card. Period.

Michael Hughes
So as a trainer you’re trying to impress,

Paden
and you’re wanting to be differentiated. And the way you were different was what we teach in the multi dimensional mood coaching program, which is three dimensional movement biomechanics to ecology, and if you haven’t just tuned me out Don’t like I just dropped jargon right there. And that’s hard to market with. And so Anyways, that was that was a one part. It was hard for me and I had a situation.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, I did not give up on the tool. You honestly, you got it? Yeah, I think it took you all those years. I mean

Paden
I tell the marketing now,

Michael Hughes
I don’t you don’t have anything that I got like that.

Paden
No. And you’ve always known that that was what made your style of training different. And you had to be smart about how we spoke about it so people could understand. We weren’t just CrossFit. We aren’t just Orangetheory fitness like,

Michael Hughes
right. We’re different. I know. It was like, Oh, we’re sciency and I’m like, No, guys, like we’re actual sciency

Paden
Yeah, like movement nerd defined? Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, all right. So you bring me in on marketing of kind of outsource that piece? Gosh, yeah. But and then you got me a job as a small business consultant right after that.

Michael Hughes
Because that was a huge shift. Because you didn’t like your job, quote, unquote. I mean, you like the people, but it was stressing you out?

Paden
I got a stomach ulcer. Yeah, I was a mess. Yeah, burnout queen.

Michael Hughes
It was interesting, because I was going through, and this is a really big thing I want people to know, I paid for business coaching. early on. I will match were you paying out of curiosity? Well, there’s a difference. And I say coaching versus consulting. Yeah, something’s just figures. 1000s of dollars. Yeah. Because of consultant, they do the work for you. They actually do the research for you. They come to you prepared. This is what you exactly need to do. Here’s the metrics. Here’s the finances, coaching. They give you the ideas, they talk to you. And I had to go do it all. So this is I think it was like 250 $250 A session. A week.

Paden
Yeah. Which is I think, quite affordable. Yeah. But But and

Michael Hughes
and hold on hold 36 grand a year, and they cut me a deal. Yeah, they’d love to big deal. Yeah. Because I went through their entrepreneurial class. And I wanted more coaching. And, yeah, they cut me a deal. I know, I think it was like 500 a week, it was what it should have been. And I met for half hour to 45 minutes, once a week. And I would honestly and I would come back. And Trevor tells the story over and over again. I come back and like the weight of the world on my shoulders after those meetings. So like, this is what I have to do. Yeah, to make it happen.

Paden
It just be a laundry list of all the stuff you didn’t know you needed to know to run your business. There. You were by yourself writing most of the classes alone. Not really paying yourself that well. No pay myself just to live. Yeah, you literally calculated all your expenses and wrote a check to cover those. So no vacations to my knowledge,

Michael Hughes
not savings. But yeah, I mean, I took I certainly traveled the world, but it was on savings. Yeah, it was different

Paden
decide No, exactly. But there’s some nuggets here. Like there’s some nuggets, yeah, but it was paying for coaching early.

Michael Hughes
And I wouldn’t I say that because I didn’t. Like we’re coaches, those of you listening or your athletes, so you either coach people or you get or you are coached by people? Yeah. Does that not apply to every other aspect of life? Shouldn’t a coach have a coach? If you want to grow faster, like if you want to go faster? It’s really important. You may be very successful. But how quickly are you going to get there? Because you’re gonna figure it out eventually? Or you’re going to quit?

Paden
Guys that could be its own episode on why is it that the fifth in the world of fitness, coaches of fitness, are really reluctant to pay for coaching, I know for themselves and running their dream.

Michael Hughes
definitely willing to pay for knowledge. Yeah, but not coach not

Paden
coaching. And for us coaching is transformation. And we know that in the training world is like do you want to just get a group fitness membership? Or do you want to get personally coaching and have a curated program? open gym? Open? Yeah, open gym get better, even better? Yeah. So it’s like we buy knowledge, we buy a gym act gym access. But are you wet ready to be transformed? Because honestly, you can sit there and say, I’m gonna watch every YouTube video out there in the world on this. And at the end of the day, like, you’re still gonna want somebody to say, Hey, this is where you are relative to all the dozens and hundreds of people I’ve coached. This is what’s holding you back to move to the next level. Yeah, so

Michael Hughes
that’s a total lie. But no, no, that’s true, because I did that early. And then so I had business coaching and then that got you a job, that relationship got you a job at that business consulting, and they pretty much gave you an MBA. Oh, no. 100% Traditionally, yeah. But in the real world,

Paden
I got a seat at the table on dozens and dozens of companies and I got to really see them implement ideas and miss something and have it flop and then have a consultant come in and say hey, this is the one little piece that was missing, and watch it soar. And it was one of those things where you know what’s the quote says like smart people learn from their own mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others. And I remember sitting there going Paden I might still have notes in my phone on this like every meeting like any nugget of wisdom that was dropped They noted it down. And I was like, I’ve got to learn this because I don’t want to make all these mistakes. I’m gonna make mistakes as an entrepreneur don’t want to make the same ones if I can avoid it. Yeah,

Michael Hughes
that’s really, that’s pretty powerful. Yes. You got a business communications degree, correct? Yes. Business Communication. Right. Yeah. But that doesn’t necessarily teach you what you got from. Yeah, your consulting job.

Paden
I mean, I had all sorts of I almost had a minor in French, I don’t know if you know that. Well,

Michael Hughes
that really is gonna make us a lot of money. When we branch out and have a first branch coach,

Paden
not everything in life has to make money, the new lesson I’m learning in my life. So anyways, where were we with that you were

Michael Hughes
talking about? So where I started as a business where wasn’t as owner,

Paden
and this is where I’m learning all this stuff as this, I think as a partner support, and then junior consultant, and then became a full fledged consultant. And I was so eager to help. I’ve at least I felt that I was eager to help you. However, when you would ask for my help, it’d be like 9pm,

Michael Hughes
or when we your work was done, my work was done. And we would come home. And we basically, whether I asked you asked it with the cases, we both, it was very obvious that when we come home, we would just talk about Gymnazo or your clients, I mean, respectfully for those clients that but what knowledge could be shared? Yeah.

Paden
incredibly vague. Yeah.

Michael Hughes
situation was, ya know, there were but I knew this circumstance. Yeah. And yeah, and that was our dinner time. Like we generally 8pm

Paden
I know, which is so crazy. Now we’re like, 530? Or

Michael Hughes
if we’re not making dinner by 530. It’s, it’s all hell’s gonna be

Paden
what kids will do. Yeah. So listeners.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. So I mean, if more than likely, I probably glean as much information as you possibly could, then we then you purchased, then you’d say, well check out this spreadsheet, you know, or checker

Paden
I just do that super fast. And it was so frustrating for me to watch. Like, I have the tool I know I can help. I just want to watch Netflix with my husband at that point. And you needed to get it done. So then I would Adam necessity sit down and be like, let’s do it together or here. Send it to me. And I’ll do it over the weekend. And you go great, like huge relief. I don’t have to do this piece.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. So just from from the memory here. Were you working for Gymnazo, quote, unquote, before we were married?

Paden
No, after 2013 December 2013 was when I came on, got it. But remember, we trialed it for six months, which we should talk about. Now. We should maybe we could talk now about our personalities, styles?

Michael Hughes
I think so. So I’ll start because I was the one who literally slid with two or three pieces of paper across the the dining table at the restaurant. And so at that point, StrengthsFinder 2.0. It’s not really a personality assessment, but it’s certainly okay. It tells the person right, it tells you how to work traits and work traits. Yeah, and we’re traits is something that we actually use in the MDMC program. The philosophy of it at the very least. And we use it in our training and conditioning all the time. Like it’s a staple in our business and strength finder to all of our coaches go through, go through Strength Finders, so my strengths were belief relator input and command. Yeah. Is that five minutes for belief? relator input learner and command. Exactly. Because we share learner Yeah. And when I got those things I’m like, and I read the description of each one. I’m like, Yep, I’m designed to be a trainer. Yeah, like those are all that like I have a high belief it has to be authentic and transformational and

Paden
has to be principle based for Yeah, actually solve a world problem rooted

Michael Hughes
in something bigger than me. Learner perfect input. I love to collect all different methodologies. And command and relator relating to current clientele, I always relate to clientele and chose to share a story that matches with them, and then command to be able to put it all together and run a ship.

Paden
Yeah. And be the leader that no one questions ever until I joined the company.

Michael Hughes
So and questions

Paden
and take the lead. Okay.

Michael Hughes
My work traits real quick, is I’m a kind of a I’m a little bit of a chameleon. Yeah, thank you. I was trying to find a different word. Where I am encourager, facilitator tracker all relatively equal with facilitator and encouraged are battling it out. And super low decision maker. Yeah. So super low, quick recap

Paden
for those who haven’t done our multi dimensional movement coaching program where we dive deep on this and how to understand harness the power for you and your clients, etc. super deep. By the way, it is really powerful, but in a nutshell, the encourager is sort of like the Energizer the extrovert super talker. Yeah, yeah. So you have a strong, that strong for you all So how that facilitator which is nurturing really, like, better and one on one like enjoys one on one for a deep connection, really conscious of the environment that’s being curated and super sensitive to energy, like you can pick up on on things in the environment, and other people and know exactly how to how to connect with

Michael Hughes
them. Everybody hears Paden’s strong suit as she describes personality assessment.

Paden
know I love this. And then tracker for you is like the strategist. It’s the part of you that wants to understand the web and how it all connects, and how you can know the exact like, you just want to have like guru insightful mastery on something and also super organized, detailed and incredible, lover of checklists. So that’s really what you bring to the table a decision maker is here’s the high level no emotion. Here’s we’re going super strong. Don’t question me leadership.

Michael Hughes
percent information. Yeah, good decision. Yeah. Which is your worst

Paden
nightmare. But like, fully a decision maker can come on site and be like, Okay, I can tell you literally with full confidence, a decision based on 40% of the information and feel very good about that, which is your least amount of doing so. Ironically, you have a lot of clients that have always been strong decision makers, which I find really funny. So anyways, we use his personality tool to know how to connect with others as well as to own our strengths, how to communicate to them, how to coach to them, how to coach them, how to motivate them, like the whole thing. It’s all interconnected. It’s a It’s definitely one of the powerful pieces of our coaching program and where do you fit into this? So I come out, super strong decision maker, and almost tied encourager, so I’m very dominant in those two decision makers slightly more encouragers right there and then almost nothing on facilitator or Drakkar. So the nurturing sweetness very hard for me to pull from on a regular basis and the need for information. I don’t have that burden

Michael Hughes
is how I would say this is in a business scenario, important

Paden
in a business scenario that prioritizes itself on or prides itself on its science, right? So what I don’t bring to the table is going to be subject matter expertise around the science of what we do.

Michael Hughes
What about your top five strengths? Nine, top

Paden
five strengths is activator. So do it now fire under your ass, get shit done, girl. That’s like my number one. Second is strategic, which is where I love to solve problems. Like literally you want to make my day, tee up a bunch of complicated problems for me to solve. Maybe not movement related, but business related. I’m down for it. Then I get communication. I love to share my ideas written and spoken. It’s my way of giving to the world. And learner. I am obsessed with learning anything new. I’m happy to jump into the deep end of almost anything because I just like the thrill of having to master something I know nothing about

Michael Hughes
besides Michaels documentaries.

Paden
You know, because I’m an empath as well, which is also side note something that was gnarly. I can’t watch these depressing like documentaries, because I like where that they’re all depressing. They’re all depressing. And it’s like, oh, the oceans filled with shit. Like we’re all going to hell in a handbasket. The climate climate is gonna ruin the world and your kids will have no future and I’m like, Okay, I don’t want to spend my Tuesday night watching that shit. learning, learning. Sure, I get it. Heavy stuff for me. And I would I’m a happier human. not burdened with that. Focus on fiction. Nonfiction is cool. Sometimes you do documentaries. If it’s like happy the documentary, I’m like, Yeah, let’s watch that one. And my last one is Whoo. Where it’s just the natural magnetism to win. Yeah, Winning Others Over. And I am aware that that’s a big strength of mine.

Michael Hughes
So it’s cool thing is and I’m sorry, I’m now I’m turning into a bit of a host here. But for a moment. It’s our it’s our tug of war.

Paden
You know, inaction. This is what we really do.

Michael Hughes
To very go get her mindsets out spoken mindsets in a business setting. Right. We go home, it’s a different story. Yeah. And who are eager to get out there? Yeah. Be on a stage.

Paden
Yeah. We both like to communicate and teach. We both love to educate. We both left. Yeah, and we do both like the spotlight. Who would you say would win an arm wrestle around who gets the most spotlight?

Michael Hughes
Who I mean, will you give me some context in our lives

Paden
as a running let’s say when I showed up to help run the business.

Michael Hughes
So you you want the spotlight and will be pissed if you don’t get it? And I’m saying that surely right. I want the spotlight but I will back down to get to someone else. Yeah, I will. I will I will recess backwards.

Paden
Yeah. And we should talk about how you feel when that happens. Why don’t you just say how you feel when that happens

Michael Hughes
when it goes long term? In the beginning, like sweet, I don’t have to work as hard. I mean, to be honest, I can focus on just what I want to focus on. Yeah. Which was facility, building things, literally building facility things to tie those two together. And that’s pretty much it. I like to make kick ass facilities that

Paden
look awesome. I know. Like side note, if anybody ever wants like facility design help, Michael would 100% move his schedule around

Michael Hughes
for that with as little money as possible. Like your favorite. Yeah, as Dell much do you have

Paden
great, great.

Michael Hughes
Work hard, though. So that’s, that was fun. But not not boring. Because if this is the facility got done. I mean, there’s only so much

Paden
I feel like we should just back up for one second, because at this point, we’ve only said Paden’s helping you nights and weekends. So what really jumped away at what I know, we’re so excited to talk about, like tactical advice you can take, which we’ll get to in a minute, okay, go for it. So, um, so my memory is, we say, I remember getting burned out as a consultant. There’s so much involved with that. But that’s my story. And it’s different. But I remember going like I am getting burned down, fried. And I’m sitting there watching all my efforts help these companies grow. And I’m looking at how much money and time and effort has gone into Gymnazo. You know, circa 2012, were married,

Michael Hughes
right? Because just 13, we literally branched off and became our own Yes, incorporated business.

Paden
Correct. And, yeah, and I remember us having that conversation, me having a conversation with you going like, I want women also to be able to fund our family. So that at some point, I can go and do something different in my career, but I don’t, but I feel like Gymnazo is where we’re spending so much time and energy and I have this skill set to bring this big. Can we throw down and throw in together? And pull weight, even if we make a heck of a lot less money together? And can we get it to a place where it can fund our family so that I can be stay home on pay want, like, I could do a different career. If I wanted, I didn’t know, I just knew I needed to buy myself that flexibility. And you needed help, because your vision was so big. So you had a very big vision. And it was like, okay, geez, I don’t think we can, I don’t think it was solo human can pull this one off, because it’s bet you won’t change the industry for crying out loud.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, I think it’s really important. Like, there’s a lot of trainers who just want to be their own boss and do their own thing. Good for you. You want to help people in your local community, you want to do that you want to make a good living, you know, doing what you do? Great, great job. But if you want to make an impact, if you want to change how the industry portrays itself, you can’t do by yourself. No, it’s not even wise to even think you can.

Paden
Yeah, it’s just gonna be that lesson, you have to learn the smart way versus the wise way. Exactly. To pull that quote back in. So anyways, but I was really worried that I would be too strong. And I remember being worried that I was like, I our marriage comes first. But worried about the soul a lot of what we did, because I was like, I also was consulting small businesses at the time. So I was coaching a lot of husband, wife teams, and the resentment was palpable at times, or you could just feel a seething anger in the conversation. I was like, yikes, I do not want to go into this and blind. Because this will take like entrepreneurship takes personal development to a whole new level, working with a significant other will take your relationship will test every part of your relationship. And I knew it. And I was like, damn, like, I’m super dominant. I really like to be in charge. It brings me immense joy to have my ass on the line and have to call the shot and have to be right. Not everyone feels

Unknown Speaker
that excitement. Well, there’s always a week behind that.

Paden
Yes, 100%. And at that point, I think my self awareness and personal development was in a different place than it is now. And there was way a bigger wake behind me than I would have wanted to notice. So I but I didn’t want you to be in the wake. Which obviously probably, but I was Yeah, it definitely happened. And I remember saying like, I don’t know if you can handle me. I don’t know if I can handle you. Can we trial this for six months? Yeah.

Michael Hughes
And the trial worked. Well.

Paden
Yeah, it worked so good. So what I meant by trial is I went to my consulting boss and said, Hey, can I put a 40 hour work week into Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday, sidenote, horrible idea, her burnout. But then I could work with Gymnazo Mondays and Fridays and two days a week be on site picking up like finance and marketing right away. Eventually customer service eventually different pieces of How will you run the business? And we did it for six months. And at the end of it, I was like, Okay, I really like what I’m doing. Like, I really see that there’s so much opportunity here. How do you feel about it?

Michael Hughes
It was really good because it really helped us compartmentalize. Yeah, I took a significant amount of hats that really weren’t even built yet. But they’re off my mind.

Paden
Yeah, they weren’t stressing you out is the thing you have to shed to enjoy yourself.

Michael Hughes
I think that’s really important. I want to let people do that. Even if you’re not marketing the thought of you constantly needing to market. Yeah, slows you down. Yeah, it’s an energy suck. For sure. Totally energy suck. 100% it just weighs on you. Like you should always be doing something. You go home and you have to make decisions. Should I work right now? Or should I watch a show or read a book or go hang out with friends? And you say, you know, I’m gonna go hang with friends but in the back your mind saying, Gosh, what if I was working right now? Like that’s what was that was on my mind constantly. And you know, if any of my good buddies back then will say as to call you good buddy now or listening. I chose work. I chose work. I really did. And I, a lot of them say that. Let’s go do this. Let’s do this. Like, man. No, I got this project. I enjoyed doing it. But there’s always a sacrifice. There’s always a choice. Yeah, there’s always a choice. And if it’s gonna make you feel guilty, yeah. Hire someone. Go out to eat

Paden
less be the victim of your own choice. Yeah,

Michael Hughes
right. Yeah. Don’t don’t go to the restaurant as much hire someone do something. You know, it’s a big. It’s a whole there’s a whole strategy on hiring someone to but you know, so it was a big thing. Yeah. Because we really compartmentalize a lot. Yeah, I didn’t touch what you did. And you didn’t touch what I did. And we met once a while to talk over coffee. Yeah, I mean, I made sure that it was sounded good.

Paden
I mean, you guys, I made a job description for myself. And I remember making one for you. And we literally outline all the roles you need in your business. Somebody has to do it, which one of us is going to do it? And how can we stay in our lane? And then we like miraculously into you know, the, the guidance of higher beings, what have you and did all of my clients in the same week, in the same year as a consultant that never happens? I have like staggering 12, six, nine month engagements, how would they all end in the same week, and I was like, I don’t want to disappoint anybody. I’m a total people pleaser. I don’t want to quit on this job that I love. But I’m super burned out by it. And I really want to focus on our business. Side note, I had total impostor syndrome as a consultant helping growing other people’s business not with our business, right at six figures, knowing that I really wanted it to hit seven, like if it could hit seven, it would be a proof to me, it was like going to prove to myself that I knew what I was doing. And I was insecure about that, which I wouldn’t even have admitted until like, two years ago,

Michael Hughes
when I think most trainers pushing to push education at a higher level on the medical side or have the impostor syndrome. I certainly did. And still do at some level. I mean, it’s just getting better and better and better realizing that. No, I’m making actual change. Yeah, it’s actually just actually has has roots going far beyond anyways.

Paden
So we end up I remember, I joined the full time like this right after Christmas 2013. And we have literally worked together full time, right up until last month. So I came in, and I said I want to be CEO. That might we know if anyone

Michael Hughes
knows. Yeah, but in the beginning, was it that or would it happen? Like I think it happened, like a few kind of trickled in.

Paden
I don’t know, man, I just remember drawing a line in the sand being like, if someone’s gonna hire me knowing what I know, they’re gonna put me in CEO and that means something to me as a female. I meant a lot to me to be this.

Michael Hughes
She certainly did. I just don’t know in the timeline on when, but definitely that conversation halves like, I need to have this title. And I’m like, I don’t care.

Paden
Yeah, you’re like that. I don’t care. I swear. So just anyone that knows us, I bring the ego to the to the room that Michael doesn’t. And it causes me it’s an evolution of my soul to like, relinquish, the need to be celebrated, appreciated, what have you. But that definitely factored into our working relationship. But you’ve never brought that. So what we got spared in our dynamic, I think a lot of it was that you don’t bring ego into it very often.

Michael Hughes
Appreciate that. So try not to

Paden
Yeah, you really do a good job that allowed for my dynamics to not be so great sometimes. But it also meant that we weren’t clashing as often as other couples. We have watched clash.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, it took it took probably a better part of a decade for us to start to clash.

Paden
Yeah. And that was more about me knowing that I needed to move into a different space and not knowing how to do that.

Michael Hughes
Yeah,

Paden
that’s a separate thing. Yeah, hindsight, hindsight. Yeah, I was always going to be your best friend. Yeah,

Michael Hughes
that’s pretty rare shoe. Alright, so that’s a good good yeah,

Paden
that’s a good segue because I come in as CEO meaning technically He, I remember our first organizational chart, which is like the little like graphic of like, who’s the head boss and who goes underneath. And I remember being like, I’m CEO, and you’re underneath. And I remember me showing you that and you being like, Huh?

Michael Hughes
Yeah, that’s that

Paden
at all. You did not like that at all. But you couldn’t go that far down. Yeah, you didn’t like that. So I’d like to remember like, then I like read it after being annoyed that you were annoyed by it. And like, literally, that’s like patency yo, and like, you’re next to me. But there’s no arrow connecting you to anybody on the org chart. And I don’t know that that made it any better.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, I’m really excited. This is the second time we filmed this, because I was super triggered by that the first time we tried this.

Paden
Oh, my gosh, if I couldn’t do it over, I would literally work so much harder on personal development around why it mattered for paid and it feels so damn special. Like, let’s break that down in therapy. So I don’t get to work that one out in public, in our business. That’s what I would say.

Michael Hughes
And that’s another quick tangent. Like we went to therapy as husband and wife throughout this whole process. Just we focused like we were putting good time into our relationship. And I really appreciate you on doing that. Like, hey, we’re gonna go to therapy. I’m like, what’s wrong? Like, nothing’s really wrong, but a few things. I remember. I remember our first anniversary, we’re walking down the street to business to to a date. He said, Michael, how do you think our first year marriage went? And I’m like, Well, I’m pretty damn good. And she’s like, I don’t like you. You’re just supposed to say when good. Okay. Let’s move on, guys. So classic. Oh, man, I don’t even know what you said about I didn’t go

Paden
out there and created a growth plan for the relationship. And you were like, really? Like, I just wanted it to be a honeymoon phase. Let it be that? No, I come from I suffer and come from the belief that all things can get better all the time. And from that place, it’s hard to slow down and appreciate what is

Michael Hughes
Yeah, fair enough. Anyways, without to be carried over. So but we were able to keep our marriage and our business. I don’t even know the word separate, that it was separate. But it was just thing like it was just part of it.

Paden
So what are some things that we did, because that’s one of the big tips I would give to anybody considering working or already in relationship and working together is compartmentalize as much as possible.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. And we we tried to do that we don’t I mean, even till this day, like we’ll go on date nights, still weekly, which I highly recommend that as a tip, I would say that’s probably one of the big ones no matter what. And those date nights were like, really is a date night. Yes, it’s a date night. And I don’t care if there’s one inkling of appreciation that goes into that date night at least you give yourself the opportunity.

Paden
What do you mean by that?

Michael Hughes
You’re like, you’re pissed. I’m pissed. Retired. You know, we don’t want to go out and date like, we just want to sit down and do nothing. Really? Yeah, just be honest. Yeah, but Netflix urge. Yeah, but we still went. And even though it’s like eat food. Talk? Not the you know, no sparks. Just be honest.

Paden
Yeah. We still did it. Yeah, we were very regimented. It’s

Michael Hughes
like it’s like, Don’t skip a workout. Yeah, you don’t have to crush it. Just don’t skip a workout.

Paden
And you’ll always be glad you did it. Right. That’s always what it is. Anytime a date night sex, what have you. Like it’s always going to be good at the end. So long story short. Yeah, I would say like compartmentalizing is like an allow if your relationship is actually your priority, and it’s not just oh, I feel guilty that like it should be God family, like, you know, everyone has like their hierarchy of like how it needs to go. Business was always our biggest temptation to make it more important than our relationship, I would say like that is going to be that is going to show up if you work

Michael Hughes
together and the driver of the conversation can always talk about

Paden
it. So then I made this rule, because I’m of course like this, like, let’s make a rule for everything. And so I make a rule that’s like, we cannot talk about the business. And then once we had kids, it was like, we can’t talk about the kids or the business. On date night. It needs to be about our connection. And then we were like, Okay, well in the car, driving to the restaurant, we can debrief each other on the quick things we need to get into. But then once we walk out of the car, we can’t, it has to be just about us. And that was hard. It was super hard. But we I would say we were about 80% successful with that. Yeah.

Michael Hughes
Yes. And I think that’s realistic. Yeah. Even last Thursday, we talked about business quite a bit and several times we stopped ourselves and said, Hey, wait a minute. Let’s divert. And the funny thing is we both enjoy business.

Paden
Yeah, I loosened up on that dogma because I was like, Okay, we we connect around building dreams, like we love to dream together. It’s one of the first things that bonded us together. It’s one of the things that makes us the most excited about our future together. And Like, we’re Dreamers, we’re also doers. But like, we love to dream, and if we take that out of date night,

Michael Hughes
it takes us part of Yeah, yeah. So

Paden
So we then augmented the rule to be like, okay, we can get into, like functional planning and executing and problem solving for the business, but we can dream and include the business in the dream. Yeah. But as soon as it became about action items and plans and solving problems, we couldn’t Yeah, that would that would be where the boundary was. And so we held that one.

Michael Hughes
And by the way, today’s date night,

Paden
I know I’m so excited. We’re like officially, like, I have a need to celebrate milestones that it makes me feel good. So like, tonight, we’re going to actually celebrate Michael stepping into CEO of Gymnazo. me stepping out into Director of Strategy, which is my new role. Yeah. And

Michael Hughes
there’s, there’s, I want to touch on this point, there was a few, a few, not a lot, but a few sharp points. And I’m putting myself back in the office that used to be an office. Yeah. And you’re like, Dude, you didn’t you didn’t do the task that I asked you to do, like, paid and said, Michael, where is this deliverable?

Paden
I’m like, Well, okay, so, I’m going quail. Well, no, actually, you don’t have to go quick. Let’s just, let’s just create, like, let’s make this part of the conversation about what went well and what didn’t. So like, what went well was a was compartmentalizing what didn’t go so well is what you’re about to say.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. Is is like I, I did things that I thought were more important. And I was better at, just be honest, you know, you’re going to follow your strengths. That’s why they’re, that’s why we test them. So we know what person’s strengths are. And we do our best to give jobs for those strengths. Because no one wants to do the weaknesses over and over day after day, you’re gonna leave the job. So I was I was given I think, like sales and follow up. Something like that, like, you gotta follow up with these amount of clients. And I don’t like doing it. I really everyone

Paden
loves you. Like, no one’s gonna say no to Michael Hughes. He picks up the freakin phone. But like me. Good luck. Like so I was like, it has to be you. Like you’re the you’re the one that everyone knows and loves.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. And it’s just so it was so like, this goes back into my to my to my personal I don’t call wounds. But to my son, what would you want to call that?

Paden
I mean, that was a childhood trauma probably or an obstacle you had over? Yeah, like,

Michael Hughes
I don’t like calling people on the phone. I don’t, I don’t like cold calls. Because it really puts him back in that stutter. No confidence on how to speak. Be proud of yourself type of mentality. And it’s really interesting, because as I do coaching now I do coaching calls. I love that stuff. I’m training trainers. But it’s interesting because it’s about the passion of the knowledge. Not selling a membership. Totally different thing for me. Yeah, totally different thing.

Paden
And then just for all the couples out there listening or one side of a couple, my Michael had like a silent resistance, defense. Definitely solid resistance. And so like smile then yeah, like, okay, paid and I’ll do it. And then No, just

Michael Hughes
more. Okay. Yeah, maybe

Paden
you wouldn’t say yeah, you’re right. Maybe I maybe that’s what I heard was okay, paid. And I’ll do it. But all you had said was, uh huh. Like, good to know. That’s what you want me to do. Right is like in your mind? And then No, no, like you would vote with your feet is what it’s called. So if you’re a leader, and you’re struggling to figure out how to how to connect with someone who works with you, or for you, you have to watch what do they do with their free time? Where are they going? What tasks are they doing? Because that’s going to shed a lot of light on what they do and don’t want to do

Michael Hughes
it, especially as a trainer and how much free time is like 15 minutes between clients? Yeah, running to the bathroom, then they have a comment, you know, those kind of little things that is free time in this industry? Yeah, not the four hours, even the four hours, you know, but whatever the case is, it’s those little bits and times if you can watch that, like, you know what I did for my free time that a 50 clients

Paden
watched a YouTube video on Tesla.

Michael Hughes
I actually did that too. Yeah, I vacuum the

Paden
floor. Okay. Yeah, well, there’s the other thing that you often do is, is it drives you nuts if there’s a facility Yeah, that’s always where it came down to and I would get frustrated because I didn’t value the facility. And I’ve that literally has come full circle for me because the number one thing people see who don’t even know who Gymnazo is always online, they’re like damn, you guys have a cool ass facility and I’ll always be like, Michael’s like loving that so much because I Michael I know oh Michael Arrested Development boys tune Yeah, basically it was like oh my god he was right this whole time like he was right about paying attention to the facility

Michael Hughes
is so funny like everybody like because I do I do it just because I like doing it but like, the facility is like a it’s like a trophy. It’s something I don’t know what it is about the fitness industry. Yeah, you gauge the business on how the facility looks? Yeah, how big it is how sharp the cut whatever the case is.

Paden
Yeah. So you spent so much time making it your dream, like you were like, I need this to be my dream was

Michael Hughes
it was my first big dream dream? Yeah. And

Paden
so that’s what you would do. And I didn’t really honestly know that. And so I was harsh about it. I was like, What are you doing? Like, you can’t be vacuuming the floor, I need to hit my sales goal this month, I need you to pick up the damn phone and call 10 people and sell six of them. Like in my head. It was so obvious that was what to do. And I wasn’t considering the stutter. I wasn’t considering your need for the facility to be good as a high priority. Because I was thinking I was running the show. And I wanted to have the CEO experience. And I wanted it to I wanted more responsibility than I didn’t want it to share. And it really created a lot of friction. And favorite probably resentment I would say,

Michael Hughes
working together, of course, bitterness dinners on my side, because I’d get angry about something and just not say it. Yeah. And you can only hold in so much bitterness. Yeah, I told you, at least for my personality type. I hold it in, and then I let it out all the ones. Yeah, that was anger. It’s just letting out all at once.

Paden
Yeah, it’s never been explosive. But it’s been like, Oh, crap. He’s serious. And this is a big like line in the sand moment. And I remember that was when you said, I hate our meetings, our business meetings, our business meetings, and I was like cheese. Like, what? Like, what what do you hate our meetings? Like, our meetings are great. There’s no problem with our meetings like I’m like, but interesting.

Michael Hughes
Didn’t it flip on us from marriage year one to business?

Paden
Do you think you’re CEO? Because I don’t think it’s going so well? Yeah. Anyways, and I remember feeling good. And I remember you saying like, I hate working for you. And I took that super hard, because I was ignorant to why it was bad for you.

Michael Hughes
It was interesting, because you said it the right way. I hate working for you. Yeah. With you. Yes. I love. Yes, I really enjoy.

Paden
And I had to really I remember saying, Okay, we need to go to this therapy weekend that my therapist because I was the one that brought a lot of I mean, we all bring baggage to relationships. I think I brought way more of my fair share. And I was working that out a gospel was that the method in Mago therapy long ago, thank

Michael Hughes
you, God.

Paden
It’s the concept short note that your biology is trying to heal its wounds from the past by using the present to give you opportunities to readdress past wounds. So if you can get it right in real time, it’ll heal pieces of you. In hindsight, yeah, it’s really powerful theory super cool, because otherwise therapy just becomes this whole regurgitation of all the crap. And then you just wear it again. And it’s like it just Anyways, my theory on therapy in a nutshell, but we there’s this weekend, it was like 800 bucks. And I remember at the time, we were like, making 50 grand together, like, together together. Yeah, just a heads up, like, we fully went in sacrifice mode, and we were happy and we could literally survive on 50k a year. In California, that’s really low. That’s actually below poverty line. I’m pretty sure in this area or close. Interesting. But we were like, whatever we’re not, we’re not needing anything flashy. We’re trying to build a dream here. We will literally eat burritos on date night and go on family trips that your parents pay for, like, if possible, which is what we did. Yeah, for years. And so that’s kind of was our whole mindset. We were super united on mindset, Super United on the dream. We just weren’t united on how day to day was supposed to go. And that’s where it started going. So we I remember me saying I will quit. Before I let this ruin our relationship. Like it was very obvious to me that you that

Michael Hughes
was our exit strategy. Yeah, that in the beginning. Yeah. Like always relationships.

Paden
Always. If it goes bad, I’m out and I’ll find a next job. And you will run it without me or alongside, like, I’ll help you where it can kind of like we used to. And so we’re starting to feel like, gosh, if you hate working for me, you hate our meetings. I’m I’m not getting this right. And like, maybe I need to do the next thing. Maybe it’s just too hard working together. And then my therapist was like, Well, why don’t you guys do this therapy weekend? Sort of like, No, I think it’s really with a lot of your crap together and realizing like it’s the small things that you have disagreements or like little snide comments, and that’s what breaks the relationship down. It’s not the big things. It’s the buildup of the small and I remember at the time, we had had a lot of buildup of little snarky little comments, and maybe like, oh, I guess you didn’t get that done again. And that would just be a bar but that would land under your armor and you just be you know, after enough of that, it’s just like, damn, like, why are we doing this? Like, what’s the point here,

Michael Hughes
guys? Very, very, you’re. Yeah.

Paden
You can say it.

Michael Hughes
It’s like, it’s like, it’s like you didn’t want to say the wrong thing to Paden because it would change the day. Yeah, you walked on eggshells pretty much walking on eggshells like choose who knows she’s gonna come in. You made a comment that like every second Sunday we talk like How should weekend? And I was like I had a good weekend. And your answer was always we can wasn’t good enough. Yeah. And it was really interesting. And I happen for several months. Yeah. And it’s really cool to look at in the in the past, and it’s truly, truly. Yeah, there’s never a good enough weekend. It always fell short. So therefore, as a husband, I’m like, Okay, well, on the half of this. I’m having a good weekend. And it kind of got the point like, well, if you don’t have a good, have a good weekend, then you don’t have a good weekend. But I’m gonna have a good weekend. And it was always, yeah, I’ve just never it’s just that it was we connected on like, 1/3 of the weekend. And then the two thirds of just be like, I don’t know. Well, I

Paden
mean, in hindsight, it it’s me being codependent and not knowing what I even like outside of, I was always trying to please and impress people around me. Despite being also hard as I don’t know how I threaded that one. It was it was a messy situation

Unknown Speaker
like that. Everything is possible. Everything is possible. I suffer

Paden
from high expectations, which I also learned therapy, expectations are predetermined resentments. And that’s what would happen was I’d have these insane expectations of everything, and everyone around me, and people couldn’t live up to my expectations. And then I would just be disappointed.

Michael Hughes
And I was the, the recipient of that. Because personally, of course you did. Well, I know. But just you know, just for people. Yeah, that’s how I take it patient comes in paste. I take it personally, if she talks to me in a high tone. I take it personally. And I can’t find myself It is then more so like, hey, just take your tone down a little bit. It’s like, No, this is how I talk. I am upset right now. It’s like I know, you’re yelling at me. I’m not yelling at you. I’m yelling about the topic that we’re talking about. I’m still taking it personally. Anyways, yeah,

Paden
we digress. But we want to give you an honest glimpse, honestly, of what what can go wrong. And for us being both so strong, and most of the relationships that are most of our friends will say Paden and Michael are both super strong.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, but our employees at the time would probably say Michael wasn’t?

Paden
Yeah. Because you wanted harmony, because you’re married your business partner, right. Like at the end of the day, that’s the inherent struggle with being in business with a family member even or significant. Other is that harmony is the overarching value. And in business harmony can’t be the overarching value to make strides. Stay true. And that’s where the conflict is, is are you willing to sacrifice the relationship for the business when because there were years that I would say Jim miles kind of stagnated its growth. And most of those years were when we had to focus on our family. Whereas like I’m pregnant and having maternity leave with baby number one sales plateau, paid and goes out, baby number two sales plateau. Like, there were so many interesting moments when you look at our trajectory of growth. Anytime our family needed focus, the business wasn’t in focus. And you can see it reflected in the performance.

Michael Hughes
Gosh, yeah, I wish I took I know that’s true. But just to hear again, it’s like Yeah,

Paden
yeah. And that’s the reality of being in relationship and run a business is like, you’re gonna have to give up the fact that there will be moments and seasons where the business is number two. And that was hard. And I remember taking that personally, because I measured my entire life value as a human being on the performance of the business or anything I touched had to be excellent, or I wasn’t Excellent. And that was like my deep insecurity. So then I took it super personal and would like heat up the action items and heat up the pressure to try to like move everyone forward. And it just created a lot of like, negative masculine energy coming out of me.

Michael Hughes
Just resulted in a lot of Yeah, again, me stepping back, stepping back stepping back toward it got to the point. I didn’t really enjoy my job. Yeah. Are you said like, I don’t have a dream anymore. My dream? My dream was realized. What’s next. Yeah. And honestly, as a mid 30 year old your dreams realized. Okay, but it get better dreams. Like yeah, like you’re not that good. You know, you didn’t reach it. You didn’t reach the pinnacle of the mountain yet. Yeah. But it was very, it was. It was demoralizing. It really was.

Paden
So like what action items or what would we say like if people want to learn from us? Because side note, here’s the truth. I think a lot of our friends or people in our circle would look at us and say they would always say you guys are the power couple. Yeah, like they always admire how we work together. They always admire our communication. If family gatherings or what have you. But the truth is like, and we, well, more times than not, I don’t know how you guys do it. We never we could never do that or like, I don’t know how you guys managed to pull it all together and still have fun together. And like, the truth is, there’s a dark side to that journey. But there was at the same time, there were bright spots that kept us going, because it would if we paint a picture of like, it’s Oh, it was always shitty. And like, you were always resentful. And I was always throwing you under the bus or like, they were seasons of that. But I would say it was more minority than majority. It just was so long over time.

Michael Hughes
It’s true. It’s like, yeah, there’s never like a heavy downpour. No, just a little mist here and there a mist here, here and there. And you forget about that mist? Because it’d be another bright sunny day. Yeah, it was always forgettable. These in my mind.

Paden
Yeah. It was I hate working for you. And I hate these meetings. And it was like, Well, then. Yeah, then we need to figure this out. Because I don’t want to be hated in my job. And I don’t want to be in a job where to to be loved. I can’t perform. That just was literally the kiss of death on me. And so I was like, Okay, I, you know, that was really interesting. And

Michael Hughes
then you know, what happened? What? COVID?

Paden
Yeah, no, I think no, I

Michael Hughes
mean, come on. I mean, what really hit it? Because you would say so many times, I need to find something else. Yeah, for weeks, if not months?

Paden
No, I was paying him a Jackson and instantly was like, I thought Gymnazo like you’re supposed to be doing something else. Like, this is a really inconvenient time. And there’s a lot

Michael Hughes
of time chatting about it. And I said, Good. Make a business plan. Put it to action. Yeah, get

Paden
off. Always been super supportive. I just didn’t support myself, right.

Michael Hughes
And then it got to the point again, you’re like, you’re just you kept bringing it up? And I’m like, okay, like, are you going to do this thing? Because then I got excited. Oh, cool. I’m going to start taking over

Paden
again. I know, but you didn’t want to, like, say it. And then I was wondering, I wouldn’t want to be the CEO.

Michael Hughes
But then I don’t want to take over everything that you did, because those are not my good things. Like I’m not an HR person. Yeah, I’m just not, you know, it’s, I’m glad I know it. I’m glad that I know I am. I don’t know business, dt, a business finance details. I know over stop, you know, the legal, the insurance, all the things that you’ve done on that front, the cash, legal and business guys. There’s so much insurance, there’s so many small little things you don’t have to think about once a year, but they can make or break your bottom line. Just saying that. And I don’t want those things. And you’re like, good, I still want those things. Like, oh,

Paden
yeah, like I’m a 5050. Owner, I care about this place succeeding,

Michael Hughes
right? And there was so many things like, Well, I don’t want to leave the business. I just want to do other things, too. And that was just like understanding this is pre COVID. Like, okay, cool. Well, how are we going to make this happen? And then COVID hit, and then I got excited. Viking warrior paid income comes out. And me put my head down in the sound and just grind comes out. And our whole team literally rallied on that same mantra in their own personality styles. And we just was so loud. Yeah, plowed I

Paden
would say it was the most fun I’ve ever had as as a leader in the business. Likewise. Yeah. Because we we do so well, when, like, I think we do really well, when we have to rally to the mission. Like if there’s pressure, like your business is losing money, go and get it like we go hard. If you know, the freakin place is going to burn down or be closed down for 10 months out of the 12 month year. Like we go sweet

Michael Hughes
was finishing because pressure does two things to people one of two things, it breaks you or makes you stronger. Yeah, just that’s just physics. Right. And as an as a team,

Paden
our whole team’s fighters, man, man, we just we just fought and it was a really powerful time and tingling right now. Just thinking about we Yeah, crushed it. Yeah, we did super proud of everybody that was there.

Michael Hughes
Not not necessarily financially. But on everything else, like we were taking

Paden
care of, we have never needed money, right. And that’s what we can rest on. And so that was really powerful. And I just and then honestly, I went through spiritual transformation and awakening this last fall. And a lot of my edges softened through that process and are softening through that process. I would love for me to stand that ego down just enough to realize I wasn’t the one that was supposed to be championing the next phase

Michael Hughes
one it’s but it’s an interesting process, because you need it to be the one growing the business. Yeah, I believe that. No, no, no, no. Well, it’s known how about that. It’s a fact.

Paden
It’s public record. Now through the podcast. It’s

Michael Hughes
it’s not an opinion businesses need to grow and have a root system that when there’s not a watering Season, you can still thrive. Yeah, you’re gonna grow as much you’re not gonna die and wither. And that was a big, big deal and COVID was that, that opportunity? That was a big that was the I mean, what are the tests want Armageddon? I mean, what else do you want to test?

Paden
Working together? Test right baby test second baby postpartum depression. I mean, we could roll. There’s some been some tests. Right. But I mean, come on, but that was definitely the worst.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, I mean, fitness was one of the five industries that got hit the hardest. Yeah, it was 610 I don’t know, small number. Long story short. And it was a cool defining moment, because it gave a the confidence not only to us, but more importantly, the team that we can that we can divide and conquer. And we did that very well. And then it made from my vantage point, it says, quit, then you said, I’m going to do this. And then through your, through your own time, developing yourself. And through your own question. I want to use the right word and I can’t think of it right now. Manifestation Oh, thank you for the last podcast with CJ. I couldn’t. I said the wrong word. You guys and I apologize. Still laughing about that. And the manifestation and the opportunity came in those exact same phrases. Yep. Anyway, here we go. Like go

Paden
do it. Yeah, like please, like make it. I’ve been saying this for two years. Paden, you let us through we, you led us to the pandemic. It’s my turn, right. And it really felt like I’m not the visionary anymore. Because what I found a shift,

Michael Hughes
right, we need growth, it was only growth, but we need vision for the next phase

Paden
for the next phase. And what I don’t bring to fitness is vision for how to shift the industry. What I brought to Janaza was how can we go from 135,000 a year, which is what I brought us to to seven figures. And then when I hit seven figures when we hit seven figures in 2019, I remember being like, Okay, you did the thing you said you wanted to do? And that’s where that tug of Okay, what’s next for me? What’s next for me? And the discomfort of oh, crap, I’m gonna have my second baby. Oh, crap, I’m depressed. Oh, crap. I’m having a spiritual awakening. Oh, crap. There’s the pandemic, like, let’s just line all those up. But long story short, it all came full circle and the timing was right to be like, Okay, I need to shift and you need to be CEO.

Michael Hughes
And the interesting part like CEOs, which is a title to really is no, it is, but what what more of it is like, you know, as CEO, I look, you know, I follow Elon Musk quite a lot. And no surprise there. And the dudes, the dudes, not someone who you should model yourself after.

Paden
You know, obviously, you want to have a good family. He’s

Michael Hughes
a unicorn, the dude’s a unicorn, so you can’t be everything. And even in not to bring him to the conversation. But even he was like, I’m an engineer. I’m not a businessman. Yeah, but he understands business. And so it’s really seeing it’s understand, like, I’m an engineer. Yeah, that’s what Michael Hughes is. I’m a human movement engineer. That’s what I love. I love the building. I love the hands on that’s why I do facility stuff. Because I’m an educator, I’d say thank you. I like educating on the on the on those things. But, so it’s really important to know your strength and like, that’s the seal that I’m going to be. I’m going to be that type of product focused CEO, and where we’re going to go next, what our vision is how we’re going to bring this company fitness into the next. I’m gonna say the next millennium, but that’s what I kind of want to say, you know, but you know, how it’s gonna, how it’s going to transform the industry. Because fitness needs to be revolutionized. It needs it bad. And it’s getting there. It’s pretty cool. So that’s not going to take number crunching. Not gonna take it’s gonna take a dream once again. Another dream. Yeah. And then we’ll probably have to maybe step back a little bit and get someone Okay, who can actually get us there? Yeah, you know, yeah, from a financial standpoint, you know, anyways, so

Paden
Alright, so just to bring this conversation back what tools and tips would you say were helped us navigate this?

Michael Hughes
So and still be happily married? Yeah. So understanding the the spouses personality types when you want to just name the ones that we’ve gone through gone through? Yeah. Talk to me at nauseam about oh, gosh,

Paden
I mean, literally, every single personality test I have taken, but what are the big ones? The ones that I recommend? The Enneagram Enneagram human design, my top two, those are recent.

Michael Hughes
Were traits has been huge

Paden
craze has been huge around communication styles. Because so often my heart was never to offend my tone and the word choice was offensive.

Michael Hughes
And by the way, guys, that’s a huge piece in the MDMC course. Yeah, we talked about how to code how to coach but how to bring everything that we’ve learned into a very bite size way of doing it, and communication with your team with yourself with your clients. It’s in there. And if you want to build great relationships with your clients with your other businesses, partners with your employees. Yeah, it’s really, uh, you know, it’s about communication. So yeah,

Paden
it’s creating a universal language so that you don’t take as many things personally, right. And even though there were things that were said that were personal, and there was plenty of things you did take personally, there was because of that tool like we could brush off each other’s your silent resistance to me and my,

Michael Hughes
there was always a understanding behind it. Yeah. And that likes,

Paden
he was not trying to be a bit right now. She just sounds bitchy. Like, for example, or Michael’s not trying to give me a middle finger, but I do the opposite of what I asked him to do. Just being as facilitator. Yeah, he’s just cannot work unless the space is in a place where it frees his mind. Yeah. And that was something that took me a while to figure out so I would say therapy is really powerful, too.

Michael Hughes
But the therapy was very important because it was the therapy understanding that our childhood our upbringing, our past, yeah, was influencing who we were so I wasn’t mad at Paden, anymore. Yeah, I was sad. And I was compassionate for the child. Yeah, the wounding the wound that happened to you. And vice versa. Game Changer. Yeah, when

Paden
I want him change, because when you can see your significant other as a seven year old kid, who’s responding with the emotional intelligence of a seven year old, but in a, an adult body? How are you going to get mad at the adult, you’re like, I just feel bad for the inner child in you. That’s like, sad right now. And I don’t want to further wound you, and I’m just gonna take. And it’s crazy, because it’s like, you can realize, like, you bring your own shit to the relationship. That’s not the other person’s fault or responsibility. And I’m gonna say

Michael Hughes
this real quick. gym owners, your clients bring their own movement dysfunctions to your facility? You know that? I know, you all know that know that. Why is it any different with a personality in a relationship? Yes, you If you respect that with your business and your clients, why don’t you know it’s the same principle

Paden
is the same. Yeah, there’s a lot of crossover for sure. There’s a like, really getting into like inner child healing together as a couple so that you can see the vulnerabilities. And it brings so much self awareness. So like self awareness, it’s like if we are all obsessed with skill building, in entrepreneurship, and in coaching, it’s knowledge and application knowledge and application, blah, blah, blah, blah. It’s the same thing on personal development. Like we don’t know what we don’t know. And we won’t be able to shift anything until we bring it into awareness. So the faster you can bring into awareness, where you tick people off, where you trigger people, what triggers you, why is it triggering you? What is it saying about you? And then that really helped us quite a bit compartmentalizing prioritizing a date night that we never missed. Yeah.

Michael Hughes
I’m gonna touch on compartmentalizing jobs, job roles.

Paden
Yeah, like we don’t get each other’s Lane roles.

Michael Hughes
You know, titles. We didn’t put on a business card. But we know we did. I mean, all your

Paden
all your business titles, no, just CEO dude that’s

Michael Hughes
focused on HR, you focus on insurance. Oh, I focused on programming, I focused on hiring, I focused on coaching, you know, and through those, you know, processes I, you know, you’ve now let go of some of those things. And I’ve let go of some of those things. But we had, it’s just kind of E Myth.

Paden
The E Myth book me the myth mastery myth, mastering Gerber.

Michael Hughes
Really nice job with a memory on the title on the author. That’s great. Yeah, like define roles. And we did that. We really did.

Paden
I mean, they would be we did that so much that we would literally want to try to update each other on Thursday nights driving to our day, because we hadn’t seen each other for four days. Yeah, the facility, we had never even crossed paths.

Michael Hughes
And that’s interesting. Yeah. Because Because because we are so segmented in our roles. Because Oh, you work with your spouse? I’m like, not really. Yeah. Not like, I’m on the floor training twice a year, and maybe during a weekly business meeting. Yeah. Or passing.

Paden
Yeah. And there are parts of the business that you like, I don’t even know what we’re doing financially. Like, you didn’t know how to log into the bank account at some point. Like, there were I mean, maybe that’s true. Like, what’s the password for this is Patrick Why Why are you looking? Yeah, well, I’m just curious, because it’s, it’s my business.

Michael Hughes
What almost got to the point where like, I didn’t know what marketing was doing. I didn’t know what sells I didn’t even know how much money were in the bank.

Paden
I mean, I’d write a newsletter as you and people would talk to you about what you wrote in the newsletter touching their hearts, and then I’d be pissed. I didn’t get credit. And you’d be like, how are you writing stuff as me and not telling me because I feel like a fool and everyone’s talking to me.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. And it’s got to the point where like, Hey, Michael, what’s the what’s the new member special on like, I don’t know. Yeah. Like, why would I know that? Like, you know, the business and like, Sorry, man, I got my head in the sand over here. I’m doing this.

Paden
Oh, gosh. But we did compartmentalize so much that like, we didn’t crossover very often. And that helped a lot, because the only times we’d get pissy at each other would be in meetings. That’s true, because it’d be the only time we had a chance to cross paths. And then there was this assumption that you would do this by the meeting and some assumption that I would communicate like this in the meeting. And that was where we started, like having to do some therapy work around.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. So Clint always got a kick out of out of those moments.

Paden
Yeah. And then we would look around at the awkward faces of the team being like, Please don’t make this hard on us.

Michael Hughes
I don’t know. I think it was more playful than the opposite as well. It’s my perception on Yeah,

Paden
it’s anyways. Cool. Yes. compartmentalizing for sure. Date Night for sure. Doing some understanding of communication, getting into therapy, if you need a knee to really get to the deeper pieces

Michael Hughes
therapy, I’m gonna change the word getting into training and conditioning your mind and soul with your partner. Yeah, therapy means you’re broken.

Paden
That’s the most people our parents generation thing. For the most part, I

Michael Hughes
absolutely agree with you therapy means you’re broken. No, it doesn’t. Therapy is called continuing your performance at a high level. Yeah,

Paden
it’s being athletic in your soul.

Michael Hughes
Right? If you call therapy, a bad thing, then you should call training and conditioning and working out about thing. Yeah, right. It’s just we, there’s so many stigma attached to the mind and soul. We think, Oh, I got this. Yeah. And I got this like, No, you don’t got this. Yeah, you got it, you have it worse than you have anything else?

Paden
Well, and truthfully, we want to have a 60 year wedding anniversary. Like we want to hit some milestones as people who can like 60s and live alone. Let’s see what we can do, but at least for hitting 60. And so we’re going to do that like putting in some of these foundations like parenting? Like, how are you not going to read a parenting book before you go in and try to shape a human being on this earth with your bullshit in the picture? Right? So it’s like, okay, like, we got to do that. If you’re gonna go into business together, like, what do you not know about yourself that the other person hasn’t wanted to tell you but damn it, if it comes down to like, you guys, both combining careers, dreams and having to write some checks that scare you. All that comes back up and becomes incredibly important to piece together. And you can’t really shelve it for long.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. What’s the quote that you say? Or the or the comment, you say? Like, you know, all dysfunctions of the business come from

Paden
the own? Yes, like 80% of your business, come on all the problems, and all the success of it is coming from the psychology at the top. Yeah. And that’s so true, like you are the biggest asset and liability in your business. Now, you mix that in with a significant other. And we’ve always said, our biggest asset is we’re married, because we will figure it out. And we know each other really well. And we’re committed to each other in a different way. That’s, that’s the asset. The liability is if we break up, business breaks up. Yeah, like what the heck? And like, how do you get people to like, join your team full time going? Like, are you guys good? While watching us work out some of our kinks in real time, right. And we tried to do most of that behind closed doors, but we weren’t perfect at that. So I would say, and then and then just being super honest about where we are. And is it working for us?

Michael Hughes
It’s really I mean, no one, it’s you know, friggin trainers, again, you talk to the client, like how you feeling today, if you don’t gut check your own training and conditioning, to see if your client likes it or getting the goals that they want. It’s probably because you’re nervous that they’re gonna say they don’t like it, or it’s not to their expectations, or their goals aren’t being met. You’re nervous. I get it. You have to ask those questions. And I love asking those questions now. No BS. Don’t try to make me feel good. Yeah. Is this training, meeting your expectations? And I’ve had some people, most of them say yes, I’ve had some people say no. Good. Let me know. Because if I don’t know, like Gymnazo. I love the fact that we’ve discipline ourselves to take feedback with a smile. Yeah, we can always learn from it. It’s feedback is the engine of growth for us.

Paden
And you know what in relationship it’s as? Yeah, like, oh, pain, you need to change your tone of voice. What? Like, how dare you? I need to be my authentic expression of self and you’re like, okay, but I’m literally shutting down right now. So if you want to have a two way conversation here, it doesn’t work for me. And now then the realization of like, gosh, this isn’t working for you. Who else is it not working for?

Michael Hughes
Yeah, it’s same whether you do a business like customer service, you got it’s a give and take. I remember. Gosh, I’m going backwards here. Peyton says, the word compromise is like a four letter word to me. I’m like, This is gonna be a tough match.

Paden
That’s I literally and it has been with us for the past six years will literally laugh with me now and not feel like they’re on eggshells, because we’ll be like, do you remember when you said this? Oh, my God, I can’t believe I said that. I did. And I was in that stage where that felt so true. I now see compromises getting to a win win. But I literally was like, No, it’s going to be a win loss and I’m going to effing win. Like that was life, whether we can laugh at that. Yeah, that was unfortunate. The other two things I would say is like, if we were to, like, give advice from our relationship, like, what we would do differently is we would always work with each other, never for each other. And forever. You might be at the top of the org chart, but we now have such a mutual respect around. We’re with each other on this.

Michael Hughes
And if neither of you like doing the job, then hire someone as fast as possible.

Paden
Yeah, pay attention to what’s crappy for you because you bring that energy into the relationship and then it starts spurring up conversations that didn’t never even need to be had

Michael Hughes
expressed that job as is monumental theory for your growth.

Paden
Yeah. The other thing is, I would say something that we really struggle with to this day is remembering to cheer for each other.

Michael Hughes
That’s a good that’s a good one. That really is

Paden
neither of us have words of affirmation as our primary love language, which is another great book to go to is like what’s your love language that’s like a good go to relationship piece, but it shows up in work. We’re quality time physical touch people and I’m gifts. So like, I want someone to write me, Wow, give me a little gift or something. But like cheering for each other, like when and then recognizing each other because it’s really lonely at the top. And any business like you’re the you’re the person running your business is super lonely. Because you’re cheering for others. You spend your whole time cheer for us and nobody, it’s crickets when it comes to you.

Michael Hughes
Not necessarily our team is awesome, but I get the I get what you’re saying though,

Paden
in relationships, like if you and I had different jobs, and I came home and said I got a promotion or my gosh, I hit my sales milestone she’d be like Paden, good job, let’s go celebrate, right. But when we’re running a business together, it’s sort of like a line item in an agenda that we move through. And we forget to go back and honor it. Yeah. And celebrating and it’s tonight’s a celebration. I know. Because I’m like excited to celebrate you being CEO me stepping down from that. And I feel like it’s a noteworthy moment, let’s go big.

Michael Hughes
That’s why I want to go to Mexican food. And I don’t want to go to Mexican. Food isn’t big enough. Okay. The other

Paden
tip speaking of this, the others if I would show, it would be it tug of wars are not to be feared they’re to be embraced. And as long as you’re not trying to win a tug of war, but like provide tension in a tug of war, there can be a health to that. And you can use the human body as the tensioning network, like to building strength, whatever, I don’t even know still to this day started. But the idea would be like, there’s so many inherent tugs of war that create a profoundly positive, dynamic in business and in relationship like, and the polarity, it’s really like that polarity,

Michael Hughes
you don’t want to get to the point where it gets personal. If it gets personal. Just vocalize it. Yeah, just vocalize it. Hey, this is getting to a point where I’m getting triggered. But I’m not there yet. Yeah, that is such an opportunity to reset. Yeah, man to go full reset, but at least you’re communicating. Yeah.

Paden
And in communicating intention. Yeah. Because benefit of the doubt, assuming positive intent, all really wonderful things to embody, especially in relationship running a business together. But there are many times where I can say You piss me off in certain things you do. And you would definitely say the same, but you never intend for ill. I can say that with total truth in my heart, like you have never had an impure motive that I’ve ever known about you. Which means that as much as I might not like the way you’re doing something like your heart is never in conflict with the greater good. And that is really important. But sometimes we can forget to go and see that in the other and we just get annoyed by the little piece that bothers us. But if you get into conflict with someone you can say like my heart here, even if my delivery sucks my heart is to help my heart is to solve his problems. We never have to do it again. My heart is I’m super insecure about this. And it’s bothering me that I can’t push the business to this level and I need your help. Like hello, anytime you voice vocalize that kind of vulnerability, and like give an insight into what’s really going on. How is the other person going to hold you? Full of blame? Like how they can be mad at you for that and be like, okay, yeah, I guess I can get over your tone of voice because I can see that you’re really hard on yourself right now.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, self compassion, peace. Compassion melts a lot of negativity. Yeah, to negativity.

Paden
That’s where the inner child work was really powerful because I could see I was hurting you. And I didn’t I like the first time I even freaking realized it was like my words are hurting you. And I’m responsible for that.

Michael Hughes
My silence is not me crying guys just taking it in. Because it’s true. It’s just really true. And vice versa, realizing how important and how

Paden
and if you didn’t cheer for me I’d be so sad. Right? And then I take that energy to date and I’d be like, No one appreciates me No, I’m not special enough. Like, wouldn’t like Nobody loves me if I’m not performing, but I want to perform no one notices and like, who am I? And like, it’s just crazy. What we internalize So, and then finding a way to laugh together in the moments of mishaps.

Michael Hughes
Yeah, a screw up is, is most of them are not game changers. Yeah, most of them. I mean, we’ve had a screw up, big screw up in our business. And it’s the one that paid in honestly was responsible for

Paden
the biggest check the most amount of money we ever lost, because because I said, we need to trust this person. And we trusted the wrong person.

Michael Hughes
And am I bitter? No. Am I upset? No. Am I bummed that happened? Yes. Did we learn a hell of a lot? Yep. Absolutely. Oh, many never

Paden
beat me up for it. Because you owned the fact that you had agreed to it. I read it. Yeah. And it was a mutual decision at that point.

Michael Hughes
Yeah. And honestly, it? Will it be worth it one day. Yes. We will get a return on it on that investment. One day. I’m I will make certain of it. Yeah. So we move on. Yeah, we

Paden
move on. So I think that’s a good place to wrap right on. Thanks for joining for anyone still listening to this almost. I want to say it’s like an hour and a half podcast. Yeah. Congratulations. You’re, you’re entertained?

Michael Hughes
Are you not entertained?

Paden
Oh, my gosh. Anyways, you can go ahead and we’ll put in the show notes on our website, in the podcast notes and on YouTube, any links to any of the tools that we just referenced around personality and Mago therapy? And some of the the MDMC course if you’re interested in working with Michael specifically. But but we hope that this episode provides some insight if you’re considering working with a significant other what is the true risk and reward ratio?

Michael Hughes
I mean, even if you just have another business partner,

Paden
yeah, because honestly, a lot of this translates into business partners, thank God, you can go home and complain about the business partner to your significant other dynamic we never had, and so much that we can process by getting it off our chest and when you’re in relationship, that’s harder, but hopefully this gives some insight into it. Because

Michael Hughes
so I got one more question. Who are we celebrating tonight? Me are you?

Paden
I would say you Okay, so I get to pick pick where

Michael Hughes
we go through them.

Paden
Dammit, you got me live. Do you guys feel this resistance? Alright, fine. And we’ll go celebrate me next week. And I get to pick Oh, there’s compromise in action and your new job and it’s not a four letter word. Wrap it up there. Thanks for joining Cheers everybody.

Michael Hughes
Hey all. Hope you guys enjoyed today’s episode. And if you did, please share it with your fitness obsessed friends and peers who are also navigating this world of fitness and trying to succeed the trends and misinformation. As you guys can see this podcast is basically a masterclass for trainers wanting to level up in their coaching skills, and their fitness business model re launches in 2020. Because you and your fitness tribe deserve to see an unfiltered look at all the aspects of what it takes to stand out as a next generation coach and build a successful fitness business sell, share it far and wide. And please, when you do do me a favor, take a screenshot of this screen and share it to your social media accounts and use the hashtag Gymnazo podcast that’s hashtag Gymnazo podcast that way we can see you and share your posts with our audience. And finally, when you’re ready to go the next level as a coach or in your business. And to reach more people, please go check out gymnazoedu.com. We have put together the best 90 Day coaching program on the market for trainers wanting to become a masterful practitioner and build a business that gives them the freedom and impact. So let us help you do just that. We have online training and one on one coaching to guide you through a full 90 Day certification. We even get you training our clients live because it’s always better to work out your kinks on someone else’s clients than yours. But we promise you this, your clients will be blown away by the transformation our program will help you make you’ll be masterful at a whole new level and part of an incredible community of coaches worldwide, taking their skills to the next level. So if you thought this episode had some fire to it, and inspired you to take action, wait until we see what we deliver on this program. So just go to gymnazoedu.com. And we’ll see you on the other side. Remember that turning your passion for fitness into transformation and sustainable business is critical to reaching the people and lives you were put on earth to help it matters and truly can make an impact in other people’s lives. So hope you do that. Keep sharing a passion and we’ll talk to you soon.